i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
