So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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