i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
