so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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