drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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