I have demons in me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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