He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize