so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
