there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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