smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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