hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
