Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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