All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
