Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
