You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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