Whod you bang
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
