If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
