I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
