Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
