You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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