It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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