I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize