i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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