I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
