No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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