We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
