how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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