you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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