he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
