I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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