i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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