Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize