cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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