there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
