he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
