Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
