it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You can't just leave with hair like that
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
