Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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