Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I CAN MOONWALK!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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