only if we run a train.
done.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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