Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You left your phone here
Wait...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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