I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
