haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
