i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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