the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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