Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
