I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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