Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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