he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
