If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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