How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
