my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
