thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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