Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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