how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
