Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i came on her dog
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
