I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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