My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
